HorseyJourney

My head is heavy. So is my body and my hart. Tears comes to my eyes now and then.

I've lost a dear friend today. A soul mate and a true teacher. He came to me and taught me so much about how to treat a horse and how to learn to listen to both horses and to myself.

He taught me what's important in life. And he taught me to respect the partnership between us.

From time to time I've been surrounded by people who have been trying to convince me that I have to become his leader – and that our partnership never could be on equal terms. That I have to be the brain and he has to learn to respect and obey my commands, since I am a human being and he's only a horse.

I am glad I chose to listen to my horse. That I didn’t do all the strange exercises you are supposed to do to take command and forever be in control.

What I did learn, by listen to my horse, is that the more I dared to let all my preconceived notion about what a relationship between a horse and a human should look like, the deeper our relationship went. And the more secure I felt, in him and in my own abilities.

For this understanding I will forever be grateful. He set me free, so I could set him free. Now I can explore my relationship with every other horse that crosses my path. Just be me, and let the horses be themselves.

Unfortunately I couldn't save him from his previous life. He came to me almost four years ago. Then he had been in Sweden two years. Before that he had a career as a show jumping horse in Hungary. Already then it was obvious to me that his body was worn out. His back ached, his back knees ached. He developed head shaking syndrome, and a bad cough. He was hard to keep in good bodily condition. All of this, I am sure, a result of human treatment with to many competitions, to many hours in stables with poor air circulation, to strong hands, and to many treatments with antibiotics and so on.

He and I reached an agreement and the last six month of his life, he was to be the one in charge. I'd let him do what he wanted and just tried to accommodate him in his wishes. Almost every day we spent time together, doing nothing much but eating, scratching, sniffing each other and just stand together and breath.

In the end I had to let him go.

And now I miss him immensely...

I live on a farm, together with my family and 34 horses. Fifteen of them are my own. I see them every day – several times a day. Often I just go out to them to say hello. Some of them want me to scratch them in particular places, some of them just like to be near. To stand near me and breathe together. Some of them are young and wants to play. They are very curious and thinks the world is a funny place with a lot of interesting things to discover. Humans for example...

Two of them have to eat more than the others. Usually I let them out of the paddock and let them walk, by them selves to the stable. They know the way, so I don't need any halter or rope. Sometimes one of them wants to take a extra tour on the stable yard – just to see if there is anything new and interesting to examine. Or maybe some left over foods in a forgotten bucket? He wants to do thing in his on pace.

Now I feel pretty secure about the way I see and treat horses. But it has been a long journey. Many times I have been told that what I do is dangerous. That I have to control my horses more, be more dominant – otherwise the will walk all over me and take charge, leave me behind like a puppet doll master who have lost the ability to control them and thereby be safe.

Stubborn as I am I have not listened to “others”. I have instead more and more let go of all control. And in that way I have instead gained control, over myself...

And by doing that, the need to control the horses has vanished – because I am calm around my horses – so they get calm to. I trust them – and they trust me.

I know this sounds extremely dangerous, and foolish to some people, to trust a horse. Because horses are horses and the react instinctively to stimuli – and that makes them inherently dangerous.

But trust don't come easy. It comes from getting to know each other, from spending time together, without trying to dominate each other and trying to figure out who the boss is.

By spending time together I mean time when you don't train your horse, or take them out on trails or other planned things on your agenda – I mean time when you actually are with your horse trying to find out what he likes and don't likes, what kind of character he is, what his personality looks like. Like you do with humans. If you just do things with another person, without exchanging information about each other – you are likely to stay acquainted to each other, but you never will be friends.

To be friends you have to get to know each other, and the more preconceived notions you have about your future friend – the less likely you are to really get to know him. You just verify the picture you already have made of him – and then you never will be able to understand each other.

Of course you can be friendly with a horse that you don't know that well. Like you can with a person. And you can spend a nice moment together. But that demands both politeness and gentleness from you.

Why is it that we humans think we must dominate horses? Why do we think rough methods is a good way to communicate?

This weekend we had a really good workshop at Little horse school with Karina Bjerreman and Lovisa Nilsson – a workshop in Horse Friendship. And it wasn't a bit dangerous. Instead it was such a joy seeing people with my horses asking questions such as – who are you? What do you like? Do you want to play? - And of course to see the horses so relaxed and curious about what we did (and how we did it).

If you are concerned with safety with horses you should really try being friends with them. Friendship and a non dominant way makes horses calm. Add a lot of patience and you have a given way to success (and safety).

But many people rather try the other way, the excited way. They scream at and hit there horses, jerks them around in halters, ropes (and even sharper tools) – to make them obey. I have seen a lot of this way – and except from being demoralizing for the handler it does not make the horse calm, on the contrary – it makes it agitated (scared), and that is not safe at all.

And I promise you. Neither of my fifteen horses have tried to take over my farm, or my life or anything else. Maybe they got a bit confused in the beginning, since they where not used to be treated as colleagues, partners and friends – but now they just seems happy and content. They are less insecure, less aggressive, less nervous. And therefore much easier for people to be around.

So if you want to get a good spiral going – be nice to your horse! He will be nice back. And that will make you even nicer, and so on...

Instead of the other (unfriendly) way...

For different reasons, my horses hoofs wasn´t well. It of course affected the way they felt and functioned. I had to do something really radical. So I talked to a lot of people to get some input, and then decided that they all should have their iron shoes removed. In total 16 horses there were 6 of them that had shoes on all four, five of them with shoes on front feet and 5 who already were barefoot.

Now 2 and a half months later I have learnt a lot about hoofs that I did not have a clue about before, my horses is adjusting better and better to being barefoot. The poor ones that were suffering from different injuries in their hoofs is getting better by the day. A couple of them we still do not ride – they need more time to adjust and heel. The ones that are doing some kind of work have had easyboots fitted to them.

What is really strange to me is that, at least in Sweden, it seems to be going on an actual war between the ones who believe that barefoot can be good for horses and the ones that don´t. Why focus on what people believe? In this matter, why focus on people at all? The ones we should bee focusing on are the horses – and there hoofs. We should forget all about our preconceived notions and ideas about what it good for horses – and just look at them. How do the cope with being barefoot? Is the quality of their hoofs improving without shoes? Do they move differently without than with shoes? And in that case – do they move better (benefiting their bodies) and not better from a humans perspective? How does being barefoot affect their over all well being? That it so say, what happens with the rest of their bodies when being unshod? And etc. etc. etc.

And then of course you cant assume that what you do with the horses hoofs is detached from the rest of the whole picture. In human medicine we are getting better and better on seeing the whole person (at least their bodies – their minds is still often forgotten about). If you for example have had an operation, it does not take long before the nurses is getting you up from your bed to have you move around – so your stomach and all the rest of your body does not stop and starts to create new problems. But in horse care – the focus often lays on one thing, for example a lame leg – and the rest of the horse is totally forgotten about. So you can end up with a horse with a leg that cured, but with colic, ulcers, behavioural problems, swollen legs...

Besides a good hoof care you should of course see to that your horse has enough of high fibre food to eat – that he can eat it when ever he wants (because you cant tell when he needs it), that he has free access to good water, nice horse friends and that he can move around as he wishes (play, sleep, run etc.). And not to forget – that he is living a happy and meaningful life!

So the whole picture is really important. It is the horses over all happiness and well being that counts – as it is for humans! And horses and people are individuals... but at the same time has some basic needs they cant live good life’s without.

So that leads to the next important question. How do you know that your horse is happy and have a good life?

Picture from our hoof workshop with Lovisa Nilsson from Svansjö Gård in December 2011.

Challenge your self and come to a workshop in HorseFriendShip®! And treat your self with a fantastic chance to experience something new with horses!

The 17th to the 19th of February are Karina Bjerreman from Hestenge, Denmark and Lovisa Nilsson from Svansjö Gård, Sweden here to guide us in to a new horse world. A world there the horses are our equals and there we learn as much from the horses as they do from us. Not to mention everything we will learn about our selves!

Read more about the workshop in HorseFriendShip®

"A cooperative relationship between horse and rider will be marked by less and less restraining tack, ideally, surely we should work towards none...so that the horse and rider are working together at any pace with no bridle, rein, rope or head collar. We don´t all achieve this of course, but we should perhaps at least aim towards it, and having "less" control, and more "cooperation" that is if we are interested in improving relationships between horses and humans, and increasing their cooperation and mutual pleasure. This approach can be (and is in a few places) taught, rather than placing heavy emphasis on physical restraining methods, and teaching names of all the particular pieces of leather, metal, rope or webbing."

Marthe Kiley-Worthington in Equine Welfare

I really like this quote from Marthe Kiley-Worthington. It says a great deal about what is important, and what is not, when you want to improve the relationships between horses and humans.

Read more about Marthe Kiley-Worthington and her Eco Etho Research and Educational Centre on her own website.